Newsletter #1

HEALING THE MOTHER WOUND WITH GAO MOTSEMME IN HONOR OF MOTHER’S DAY

The Mother Wound is a form of intergenerational complex trauma. The four Mother Wounds are betrayal, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. Our mother’s own trauma responses, limiting beliefs and coping mechanisms affect her ability to love us, and this shapes so much of who we are, our self worth, and how we attach in friendship and love. We have the ability to choose to put our energy into healing, forgiveness, repair and/or letting go and minimizing contact. To love our children better than we were loved, we must work through our mother wounds so we can be present, engaged, attuned and not triggered by our children’s needs. This is how we break
generational trauma.

On June 2. 2024 we interviewed Bryan Piatt LIVE with our incredible We’re Not Fine listeners in Nick Harper’s Rogue Buddha Callery in

Beloved former KARE 11 sunrise anchor Bryan Piatt shares his journey with OCD, anxiety & panic

NE Minneapolis. We agreed that Anxiety is a very common and relatable experience, but that OCD is still quite misunderstood and carries with it a shameful stigma. Bryan shared that he started feeling symptoms of anxiety and panic in Middle School. It showed up for him as a terrifying moment in the lunch room where he felt completely disconnected from his body. He now knows this to be called depersonalization, or derealization, but at the time he felt alone and scared. Bryan’s anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder became more and more debilitating as he moved through High School, his Broadcast Journalism Program in College and then came to a fever pitch near the end of his time at KARE 11 Sunrise. He would have panic attacks on air, and needed to cough to hide that he was too short of breath to even speak. Healing Take-Aways:

  1. Facing your demons and integrating them into your life sets you free. Denying & avoiding intensifies the internal battle and isolates you
  2. Seek professional help, the gold standard OCD Treatment is Exposure and Response Prevention

IN OUR 2 PART LIBIDO MISMATCH SERIES

WE DEEP DIVE INTO THE REASONS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER MIGHT NOT BE IN SYNC SEXUALLY, LEAVING ONE OF YOU FEELING REJECTED AND THE OTHER OVERWHELMED

Find out if your partner is a match under the sheets! Here are your conversation starters:

  1. How much sex is too little/much?
  2. How much sex in a week is ideal for you?
  3. What makes you sexually satisfied?
  4. What turns you on/off the most?
  5. Do you have any kinks/fetishes?
  6. If so, what kink/fetish would you like to explore?
  7. What sexual fantasy would you like to fulfill that you haven’t fulfilled?
  8. How have your sexual desires changed over time?
  9. In your previous relationships, what made sex good or bad?
  10. Who was your best sexual partner? Why?
  11. If everything was legal, what would you want to try sexually?
  12. If you didn’t have to worry about getting caught, what would you want to try sexually?

NOW WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?

  • The solution is to have an honest conversation about it, in the cool light of day, and not while tensions are high. The goal is to get to a point where the one who tends to initiate more feels like they can read their partner’s level of interest well.
  • Maybe implement a rating system so you share a common language with your partner;

1-3 intimacy is completely off the table

4-7 it was not on their radar, but could be swayed pretty easily

7-10 the sexual desire is high enough the lower libido partner would even initiate

  • The lower desire partner must feel like they can say no without worrying about their partner’s reaction. This way, when they do say yes, it’s because they actually do want to have sex. Isn’t that the true goal?
  • It is a good idea to ask the lower drive partner their perceived obstacles to intimacy and the higher drive partner what is being triggered for them with perceived rejection. Are there unmet needs for reassurance, childcare, housework, or emotional intimacy that could warm up the connection making sexual intimacy a natural next step?
  • Another crucial part of the conversation is the compromise. What can the higher desire partner expect for a plan B if the lower desire partner isn’t interested? A quick turnaround in initiation from the lower libido partner? A regular schedule they can both count on

Upcoming Live events

Finding your way after Catastrophic Loss with
Kimberly Harms, DDS
Sunday July 14, 2024 4-6pm @ The Rogue
Buddha Gallery in NE
Minneapolis


Post-partum depression, Psychosis &
Perimenopause are Couples’ Issues with
Gabriela and Chris Ball
Sunday August 11, 2024 4-6pm @ The Rogue
Buddha Gallery in NE
Minneapolis

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